Going trip for me like a kind of test.
I enjoy the society and human connection. I treasure them all. However, there are times that people and all of their stories surround me just like a kind of strange objects that my body has to be strong to win over it. Most of the time I won therefore I laughed like hell, talked a lot and brought home ton of pictures in which you hardly can see my eyes open wide. My eyes are just a simple line when I laugh- quote from my office buddie. So I do enjoy all the bounding time and hang out with friends. I feel like I blench in them regardless obvious differentiation between us- take size of eyes for instance.
Unfortunately, there are times things don’t work out. All of communication chaos disturb me in a way that I am somehow, not able to take it well. Just like our body and raining. If we are healthy enough then soaking under a heavy raining wouldn’t cause much problems else than wet and unexpected clothes to be washed. On the other hand, when our physically conditions is not that well I am sure things would go more complicated. Fever, running nose, headache, sorethoart (god!) and so on. It may lead to hospital if you try to check with another rain? !
Here come to my problem with people and me…Sometimes, I feel like I am just a dot rolled out of a paper and couldn’t find a way to back the story. I can just seeing people enjoy their time regardless my existence. I, therefore, will dig myself deep into the point that I am not able to head up and be me as usually. I isolate with people despite the fact that they are talking to me or I am eating together with them. It kicks my emotional nerve as a result loneliness dominate all on the senses and shut them down. Everything is mute so I only literally can hear miserable stuff like missing home, love and hunger and more!! . There are, so far, nothing can help. I just can’t resit the happening and have to carry on with that till the bottom and back after sometimes
It has been brought some troubles so far. Friends looked at me as “what the hell is wrong with her” or even worst “who the hell she think she is”. No explanation can be given. I think it is better to deal with it as kind of allergic issue which occur occasionally. Good sides of this is, I usually can compose easily due to the fact that emotional taken me away. Totally!.